So this is my initial post. I am mostly writing for me. As an introvert, I need a quiet place to sort out my thoughts. For those of you joining me from cyberspace, welcome to my quiet place! These moments are rare as any working parent will tell you. But I need this time, this space to sort out my understanding, beliefs, and ideas.
To understand where I am coming from I will provide a little background. I have found that I tend to forget that others may have different perceptions of the way the world works. When I remember, I become hyper-aware of them forgetting we are more alike than different.
I'll start with a pet peeve. I am Christian. I hate it when people throw that word around as if it means the same thing to everyone, as in, "I can't do that; I'm a Christian." or "How can you call yourself a Christian if you feel that way?" I come from the liturgical side of Christianity and we have a creed, or a written statement of faith. I always thought that all Christians subscribed to the Apostle's or Nicean Creed. I found out a few years ago that many of the more evangelical or pentecostal faiths do not adopt the creeds because (as I understand it) the adherents don't what others dictating what they believe. [That's not to say they wouldn't agree with the creeds, they just don't want others putting words in their mouths].
So what kind of Christian am I? Like most liturgical Christians, my faith is expressed through ritual (church attendance, standard prayers and hymns), traditions, and good works. Personally, I find service (to church, community, individuals, whatever) to be an important expression of my faith. Evangelism is not remotely part of my religious background. I always fear that being too "churchy" will drive people away from God rather than to him.
I am also a scientist. Another "personality" that gets stereotyped. I have never met a scientist that could be one of the characters on "the Big Bang Theory." (though most that I know love the show). Most are fairly normal looking. Some are geeky, some are beautiful. They all know how to comb their hair. Different personalities will be attracted to different fields, and to different types of employment (teaching, research, consulting, etc.). I don't have enough patience for research alone. I need feedback. I am also not aggressive or ambitious, so I'll leave the big research jobs to those who enjoy that. I love working with people and helping them to understand and enjoy science, so teaching is a perfect fit. But as I said, I need my quiet time, so middle school and high school teaching did not work out for me. Now I teach at a college, which I LOVE!
So 6 short years ago, after picking up my diploma at a research university I left a northern state to bring my family to a small Baptist liberal arts school in a southern state. I feel I am living on the edges of multiple worlds. I have always worried that my scientific coworkers secretly think I can't be a truly objective scientist because I am Christian. (Some have hinted at this). For me, it has never been an issue. (More on that in later posts). So now I am at a school where my science skills are appreciated and my faith is encouraged. But the culture of faith here is so different from what I am used to. It is so public, in your face. So evangelical! Do the people here think I am not Christian enough because I am more private with my faith? Also, there are many assumptions about what you must believe if you are Christian (both from Christians and Scientists). I am still sorting out "pervasive ideas" from "vocal minority opinions". I wonder what ideas about faith and science my students have, and how those ideas color their understanding and affect their beliefs about what I teach in class. Some professors chat easily with students coming to understand them. This has never been easy for me, so my quest to understand them is ongoing.
So why corundum? It is the juxtaposition of two unlike things. Corundum is a mineral composed primarily of aluminum and oxygen, but has properties very different from either. It is white, hard, brittle, and not at all shiny. I use it the lab because it is a ceramic material that can be heated to very high temperatures... it is useful. It is a crystalline material made from a regular repeating pattern... it is orderly. Yet it can be treated with (doped with) other elements; very small amounts of impurities can make white alumina (the pure form) change to bright red rubies or colored sapphires... it is beautiful. That is how my world feels... orderly, complicated, useful, unpredictable, colorful, blended and beautiful.
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